Common mistakes in marriage~

Have you ever really listened to yourself thoughtfully, and analyzed the deeper meanings and implications of what you were saying?
Doing this can be a sobering experience. Recently after I realized what I had said I immediately exclaimed, “I take that statement back!! I do believe good things can happen! I do believe it!” In the flash of a moment, I suddenly understood the deeper message I was sending to myself and to the Universe.
Reflected in my original statement was an underlying feeling of doubt that I deserved good things to happen in my life and that good things would really happen to me. You may say that I’m being too picky in looking so closely at the words I say and the statements I make, but I have found that the language we choose to use is extremely important. You are co-creating your world with every thought you think and every word that you utter.
Have you ever heard a co-worker or friend who has applied for an advancement position at work say, “I really doubt that I’ll get the position, but I applied anyway”? Can you hear what a negative message this sends? The energy of doubt will permeate everything the person does, including body language during the interview, tone of voice in responding to interview questions, and their general confidence level that will communicate in many subtle ways.
Another important concept to be aware of is what happens when you speak words of negation, such as “don’t” or “not” or “no.” The Law of Attraction says that you attract into your life what you think about and focus on. But according to the creator of the book and DVD The Secret, Rhonda Byrne, the Law of Attraction doesn’t compute the negative words you may use.
She gives the following examples and says that as you speak words of negation, this is what the law of attraction is receiving:
“I don’t want to be delayed.”
“I want delays.”

“I don’t want that person to be rude to me.”
“I want that person and more people to be rude to me.”

“I don’t want to catch the flu.”
“I want the flu and I want to catch more things.”

“I don’t want to argue.”
“I want more arguing.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.”
“I want you to speak to me like that and I want other people to speak to me like that.”
“You may be thinking ‘Well, that’s very nice, but I can’t do that.’ Or, ‘She won’t let me do that!’ Or ‘He’ll never let me do that.’ Or, ‘I haven’t got enough money to do that’ Or, ‘I’m not strong enough to do that.’ Or, ‘I’m not rich enough to do that.’ Or, ‘I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.’ Every single ‘I’m not’ is a creation!”
Mother Teresa knew the power of words and being careful to focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want. When she was invited to join an anti-war protest, she replied, ‘Let me know when there’s a march for peace.”
Think of the difference between saying to your spouse, “I want to be in harmony with you,” versus saying, “I don’t want to fight all the time.” Or what about the difference between saying, “I love it when we can spend time together on the weekends,” versus, “You always ignore me and never spend time with me.”
Become aware of what you’re creating when you say “I’m not” or make negative statements. Also be aware of the power of saying the words “I am,” such as “I am unhappy,” or “I am bored with my marriage,” or “I am always a loser in love.” The Law of Attraction “Genie” always has the same reply, “Your wish is my command.”
Over time, the words you say to yourself and to others and the thoughts you dwell on all impact what you create in your marriage, in your job, in your family and social relationships, and in the quality of your life. Words contain power—it’s up to you to use that power wisely to create more of what you want to experience.